As humans, we have a habit of confusing our emotions and interpret them inaccurately. Often, we are confusing how we feel and what we express. This inaccuracy we face in understanding our emotions, in our inability to express what we feel troubles us on most of the days and we conveniently choose to ignore these emotions. Event after event, we keep piling these emotions up and when we expect the least these emotions, these feelings which we feel but not really understand or express spill out like angry waves of the sea on a full moon night. They sneak out of our words, our clothes- angry emotions murdering a little of us and little of the other.
Susan David, in one of her article on Harvard Business Review, mentions the number of words we speak on an average day- it is sixteen thousand. The number of unspoken words is unimaginable. In this enormous list of words and emotions which we feel and not really understand, there can be thoughts which are positive and thoughts which are negative.
And since our childhood days, we have been taught continuously to be afraid of the negative. This morning in a Ted talk I watched, delivered by Susan David:
she says:
Courage is not an absence of fear. Courage is walking with fear.
The idea of feeling positive all the time is damaging us. In the universe, there is a balance which exists amongst the opposite energies and if you choose to not feel one of the energies which are as much a part of the other energy, you are choosing self-harm in some way or the other for your body, mind and spirit. It is important for us to acknowledge everything that we do feel and not pick and choose what feels pleasure-some. It is important thereby, to learn to acknowledge how we are feeling. It is important to learn the right language as well to acknowledge our emotions.
For instance, let's listen to Raj`s story:
Raj works in a corporate office and these days there is a lot of work which is Raj`s responsibility. One day Raj gets late to office because he is unwell. Raj is very afraid, as he has never been late to an office before this and to him, his fear turns into a despicable reality when his boss Reena shouts at him. Raj is very angry and upset, with his boss. He keeps on saying to himself “I hate my boss”.
However, later that day he found Brainkey Gold and he starts taking two spoons of Brainkey gold every day and is able to protect himself from anxiety and stress.
There is no clarity that Raj and his boss Reena have about their emotions and it is not apt on their parts to take the emotions that they felt for each other as facts, there are better ways in which both could have communicated to each other how they felt. Unfortunately, the rush with which we choose to live our lives, we fail to give ourselves time to process our emotions, to understand how we feel and to choose to communicate how we feel actively.
Often, we choose to be passive while we can make active efforts to understand the complexity of what we are feeling. Because if we don`t take out time for ourselves to work on how we are feeling, then who will.
Krishna Das, a Grammy award winner singer, once told a friend of mine “It’s all within you” and I have not heard words which are so simple yet so difficult to practice. We always keep trying to find our self in the other, sometimes in god, sometimes in a friend, sometimes in people, we look up to and truly as all the saints have said: “all that you are seeking for rests within you”.
Here are a few Amrutam Hacks which help you work on your emotions and how you communicate them:
Hey you, please know that as a part of Amrutam family we want to extend a hand to you beyond just telling you things you can do, so feel free to email us at care@amrutam.co.in and tell us about yourself.
#1 Get a Journal and write
If you do feel overwhelmed by your emotions, it’s understandable. However, if you start acting out of your emotions, you need to remind yourself that you own your emotions and not otherwise, your emotions should not be the ones owning you. A very healthy activity, to be able to process your emotions is to start writing a journal. It will be your private journal; you don’t have to showcase it to anyone at all. It will be a journal- where you can be you. It will help you understand yourself better.
#2 Emotions aren't facts
It’s important to acknowledge your emotions, it is important to recognize if you feel upset or angry, and the range of emotions we feel on a daily basis can be endless. While acknowledging your emotions, it is also important for you to understand that how you feel is not a fact. It is a passing emotion.
Start changing your sentences from “I feel angry about this” to “I notice that I am feeling angry about this”. You will see a significant change in how you feel by changing the way you address your emotions.
#3 Slow Down
Count with us, one, two, three...Four…five…take deeper breaths…slow down. There is no hurry. The only thing you need to hurry about is for you to see yourself, to understand how you feel and to take care of yourself. Slow down and take care of yourself.
After knowing the above few Amrutam Hacks, we hope you will be able to deal with your emotions better. Dealing with your emotions in a better manner means that you will be able to acknowlege your emotions, interpret them better and not take your emotions as facts. Keeping a journal will help a great deal to deal with your emotions better.
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