Love is a universal feeling. We experience love in the littlest of things.
It has the ability to change our worldviews, our thoughts, and our lives. There are many ways through which people express and receive love.
Why we love?
According to ancient texts, one of the critical components to love is self-awareness. When we are cognizant of our thoughts and actions, we tap into our ability to free ourselves from unconscious behaviors. It allows us to be fully present and selfless in exchanging energy.
Ayurveda considers this to be a Sattvic act. According to the primary Ayurvedic text, the Caraka Samhita Cikitsasthanam, these acts of love are called Acharya Rasayanas, often translated as behavioral paths (Ch 1.4, 30-35).
“Being calm and peaceful, along with giving fully to others, and being loving, compassionate, and truthful, are the keys to a fulfilled life.”
Five Love Languages
American author Gary Chapman has broadly classified the expression of love into five categories that he calls the ‘Five Love Languages.’
These include:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Physical Touch
3. Spending Quality Time
4. Giving Gifts
5. Acts of Service
While the above can be considered to be the modern languages of love, Ayurveda has its own spin on how these love languages can be practiced and what effects they evoke between partners.
Let us try and understand each love language one by one.
1. Words of Affirmation
Who doesn’t enjoy being told they are loved, adored and valued? Communicating your thoughts and emotions through words of affirmation is an extremely powerful way of telling your partner that you love them and vice versa.
Dr. Deepa Godara, expert at Amrutam.Global, expresses her affection for her partner through words of affirmation.
“I admire his ability to do things wholeheartedly. Everything he does, he does it with all his heart or not at all. He lives every moment. At work, or even when we are out and about, he enjoys every waking moment, which I feel is really important.”
Tip: Take every opportunity you get to verbally appreciate your partner. Compliment their outfit, talk about the qualities you admire in them and don’t forget to say ‘I love you’ when ending a day!
2. Physical Touch
We can only ever love someone fully when we feel safe in their company. Physical touch is essential to ensuring that we do, in fact, feel safe and secure.
That said, the love language of physical touch need not necessarily be sexual. When we experience a loving touch, the sensory receptors on our skin trigger the release of happy hormones. This is why non-sexual touches like snuggling, holding hands, hugging and kissing make you feel so loved!
YouTuber and content creator Srishti Tehri recently discovered her love for doing things with her hands.
“I learned how to massage from my father. Over the years, it has grown into a therapeutic hobby,” she says.
Srishti also enjoys endearing hugs and kisses. “I love to give people the comfort they deserve through my hands. It’s such a unique form of energy exchange and it teaches me a lot about myself as well,” she explains.
3. Spending Quality Time
In today’s day and age, where time is the most valuable currency, spending quality time with your partner is both a rarity and a priceless gift.
While this love language may look different for everyone, the underlying idea is to do something together without any distractions or interruptions.
As we age, family responsibilities take over, and we forget to share time together as a couple. Taking time out helps reflect on your relationship and reminds you why you value and enjoy each other’s company.
For Naina Bajaria, Ayurveda consultant, spending quality with her partner means taking time out for the simpler things like taking a bike ride a little out of the city into the mountains or going by Mother Ganga (she lives in Rishikesh), talking and reflecting on life.
“If we cannot get out, quality time is also Netflix, an old Bollywood film and popcorn!” she quips.
Tip: Schedule fun date nights every month! It could be a movie date, a stay-at-home cooking dinner date or a picnic!
4. Giving Gifts
This particular love language carries a notorious reputation because it gives the impression that the person practicing may be materialistic. But there are many ways of looking at it.
For some people, the best way of expressing that they love someone is by getting them gifts.
This does not imply that they are not thoughtful - actually, just the opposite! It means that they want to ensure you have everything you need to live a comfortable and happy life.
Are you still looking for the perfect gift for your partner this Valentine’s Day? Take this short quiz where we help you find the right gift as per your budget!
5. Acts of Service
Acts of service essentially mean doing thoughtful things to make your partner’s life easier.
It can look like cooking a wholesome meal for your partner when they’ve had a tough day at work, doing their paperwork and paying the bills when they’re preoccupied, and driving halfway through the city to take them to the airport.
These acts of service do not have to be big or larger-than-life. For instance, Srishti shares how her partner has helped her feel grounded and loved by being patient with her newfound love for gardening and cooking.
“When I became obsessed with gardening, he learned the names of our plants. When I began cooking and messed up at times, he helped me rectify the taste and make it better.”
And for Dr. Deepa and her partner, acts of service can look like taking time out from their busy schedules to have dinner together every night.
Like Nicholas Sparks said, “The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds.”
This Valentine’s season, we hope you feel loved in its purest form! We send lots of love and warmth your way!
References
1. Ayurvedic Love Languages
2. Love and the Doshas
3. Ayurvedic Philosophy and Love Languages
